Input | Output |
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Link | Youtube |
Published | 2023/03/19 |
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Status | article incomplete |
Billy Young says:
A journey of personal growth from prejudice to acceptance, guided by interactions with a trans woman and her friends.
Individuals seeking guidance on personal growth and overcoming biases.
The full transcript delves into the nuances of personal growth and acceptance, offering valuable insights into overcoming biases through genuine interactions and self-reflection.
#PersonalGrowth #Acceptance #LGBTQ+ #Learning #Bias #Community
Well, howdy there, internet people, it's Billy Young.
So today we are going to talk about eight months of change.
Changing as a person over eight months
and that process and a woman who is, quote, southern sweet.
And we're gonna do this because I got a message.
It's a long one, but I'm gonna read the whole thing
because I think there's probably a lot in this
that a whole lot of people could could stand to hear. And there's two questions
and two answers. Okay, so please answer this because I don't have anybody else I
can ask. I'm 22. I grew up very conservative. Then I moved to a big
city from my small town when I was 19. Eight months ago a trans woman started
where I work. I was always taught anything gay was horrible, and to be honest, trans
people grossed me out. At least the idea of one, because I had never actually met one.
She was nice to me, so I was nice to her. I called her her, and after about a week it
became really easy to do. She's very feminine, southern sweet, and she's pretty. We started
hanging out outside of work.
Recently, I went to a gay club with her and met some of her friends.
With her, it was easy to see her as a woman because everything about her is feminine.
I didn't see her friends that way.
I kept thinking of them as men who were trans rather than women.
Obviously, I didn't say anything like this to them.
I've learned from the woman he works with how hard it is for them and wasn't going
to make it harder, even danced with one of them, but it was in the back of my mind.
I remember you saying I said what I said when somebody told you to say trans woman instead
of woman.
I thought I should ask you because anybody I know who I could answer knows them.
Am I a horrible person?
I don't see why it's so easy with the woman he works with and so hard with them.
I wasn't uncomfortable around them, but just didn't see them the same way I see her.
How do I get past this?
Okay.
So what's happening is you are changing.
You're changing as a person.
You're changing.
You're growing.
You are broadening your horizons.
You're opening your mind.
You are becoming better, kinder, all of that stuff.
It's a process.
It's not an event.
It's not a thing that just occurs all at once and you have everything figured out.
It is a process.
If you are the same person you were five years ago, you've wasted five years of your life.
You'll continue to change.
As far as how you get past it, keep doing what you're doing, keep learning, keep allowing
yourself to be educated. Let's be real clear about something. You went from anything gay
is bad to hanging out in a gay club and dancing with trans people in eight months. I'm going
to suggest the route you're on is pretty effective. What you are probably dealing with is passing.
probably what you're dealing with and this is a it's a whole conversation to
include whether or not that's even a good term to use to describe it but if
you're going to look into it that's probably the term you you want to look
up, passing or passing privilege.
Your friend, the woman who works with you, she's pretty, southern sweet.
So it's easier for a 22-year-old man who is probably very accustomed to objectifying
women to say woman when they kind of meet your form, so to speak.
Eventually as you continue to grow and continue to change, you're going to realize that a
woman isn't a woman simply because you find her attractive and that there's a whole lot
more to this than just meeting a traditional appearance stereotype.
And you will definitely figure that out.
You're on the right path.
You're not a horrible person.
You are a person mid-change.
this message and trying to figure out how to get past it is a clear sign that you're
not trying to hang on to old ideas or anything like that.
You're trying to move forward and change takes time.
I mean, you went from kind of a bigot to being so concerned about something you thought,
not even something you did or said, but something you thought that you sent this message.
You're going to be fine.
You know, you say that she's told you how hard it is and you've obviously learned.
will continue to learn. Don't second-guess yourself too much on this one. First time
you met them, there's a whole lot that you're going to learn along the way. Now, as far
as the other question, why is it so easy with her and so hard with them, you know the answer
to that. You definitely know the answer to that. You're talking about a woman who is
southern sweet and pretty who you hang out with outside of work and want to make sure
you make a good impression on her friends and who seems to be the catalyst for a pretty
big change in your life. Generally speaking, 22-year-old men do not send
messages like this about a buddy. I mean, the only woman who has ever successfully
changed me other than my mother I married. There's probably that lens that you're looking
through and I don't know if you just don't want to say it here or what, but I do not
imagine that I would ever get a message like this from somebody who was really
just friends with the young woman who is southern sweet. That's probably why it's
easier. You know, you like her. Change takes time. You're not going to get
everything right, right away, but you'll keep moving forward. It's a process.
You're going to learn more and just the fact that you want to learn more is a
pretty good indication that you're going to be successful. Anyway, it's just a
thought. Y'all have a good day.
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